you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
