Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We are all done wearing pants today
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
