you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
