shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize