Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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