I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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