It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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