I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
sex in a hospital.. check
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
