You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
