i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
