She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
