There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
