Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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