Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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