no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
