it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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