no, he came in my armpit
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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