but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
