you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My dick has a subreddit
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
