Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Randomize
