i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
