we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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