My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize