We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just cropdusted the office
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
