I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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