I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
