Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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