Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Your penis caused this!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
