70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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