his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
