butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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