her vagine was all disorganized.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
