P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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