i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
