how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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