I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
