You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
