I heard we made out
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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