You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize