So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
