we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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