she was so not down for the gang bang
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my shit smells like andre
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
