Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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