I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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