Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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