just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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