Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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