i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
