the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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