Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
