girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
