And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
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can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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