I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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