Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
