3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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