no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
