...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
