absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm going to jail i love you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
